1  
These bad habits have crept back into the back of my mind
Crept back into forbidden urges
And I have been good for so long!
I’ve been able to hold everything together
   But these apprehensions
      These maybes
That I hold to be self evident
Running this line far past the labyrinth
Trying to find a trail back home
Back to my home
Unrolling this twine
I force the path I follow into being
Home is back there
         Back to the black curtains and cushioned sofa and full fridges
Run backwards, Karena
Stop leading your life away from dark rafters
Maybe retreat is the right way
                                                                       2
Hanging her hopes on the coat rack
Letting it drip dry all the encouragement and confidence
It had absorbed through the chilly solstice
Bad luck on sunny days
She slumped upon the stool
Collapse a closer conception
Blank eyes,
The stars fell out of the sky
Rode rain drops to the ground
Hitch hiked on passing comets to my hopes
So stars, too, drip from that dingy old thing
Battered and patched
Or just patched because she can sew
But the fear hasn’t fallen yet
The fear always riding on hope’s back
The frustration tagging along the coat tails
Exasperation trying to seize hold
And hopelessness squeezing through the
Crack in the door
The pitiful child
Apologizing for his life
While at the same time asking for more please
-he is not ready to die yet, even though she, who promised him a meal
Maybe-
The apprehensive little chil’in
Not knowin’
To go hide under the bed
Or wait till after he is fed
“hopelessness crept in” she tries and explains to the jacket
She apologizes for her consort
Still, nothing, only the splatter of falling stars
Nothing but hope on the rack
And her defeated on the stump
Nothing in between
One hope long gone
One girl admitting she is wrong
She’s odd
She’s tierd
She’s across the universe
Looking for the meaning of life
                                                                      3
Her mama told her it was love
A book wrote her it was 42
All her math teacher said “is to please you”
But life hadn’t gotten to the point yet
Had yet to express a complete ought
No one could yet understand it meaning
While sounding out verbs half form
We hadn’t reached the ”you” nor the expected “we”
And the only “I” to be seen is caught between hard consents
Life is…
More than a catchy fraise
Maybe, they say, maybe
These maybes behind the ears
Where I forgot to wash
And under my eyes
They grew, before I learned how to cry
The dry feasted them well
Before the days of being tucked to sleep
Before the days of being rocked and held
And after, too, the grew
Powerful uncertainties
Commanding in there conviction
Take freedom, Girl,
Reach for the morning star’s release
And I promise you he will morn for you
Black rocks have the freedom to split into two
Maybe
I have the freedom to hold the two together
                                                                          4
A pocket full of maybes
And an empty cigarette case
Hope securely buttoned
Apprehensions in its place

The immortal night has no more stars
The love birds flew up and ate them
There are no more exploding stars
For there is no one there to see them